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Lost Final Season to Kick Off on February 2nd!

January 25, 2010 by bumblenation

Yup, 5 seasons done and Bumble is still LOST!

On Tuesday, February 2nd the sixth and final season of Lost will begin. That’s at 9pm EST for those of you that cannot help yourselves. The season is slated for 18 episodes, with the series finale to air in May. So what can we expect in the final season?

Well given the propensity of the writers to be wankers, and the fact that the final season begins on Ground Hog Day, Bumble has some thoughts on the matter. Is it a coincidence that they are starting out on Ground Hog Day? Will it mean six more weeks of “WTF was that?!?!” Let’s ask the king of all Groundhogs, Punxatawny Phil.

Ahem. Well it appears the Groundhog has no prophetic powers when it comes to Lost. As a matter of fact the little bastard isn’t that great at predicting spring either! Just once it wound be nice if the furry infidel would go out on a limb and say something like “Nope, Winter is over! You can all take off your snow tires”. Stupid rodent.

Bill should have killed that pompous jackass when he had the chance!

Ummm. Right, Lost. So it starts on Ground Hog day. Something just doesn’t smell right about that. Perhaps it is because Bumble can’t help but think of that movie. You know the one, where Bill Murray wakes up every day and starts all over again.

What if Lost Season 6 starts out like that? No, not with an alarm clock going off and blaring “I Got You Babe”. Though that does have some potential. No, what if Season 6 begins with the plane crashing all over again? Bumble would be devastated.

It is bad enough that there is just no closure in life. If they screw up this series, Bumble doesn’t know what he will do! After over 100 episodes ending with neither an explanation, nor a gratuitous nip slip from Kate that damn show is infuriating! Bumble is emotionally invested now. They better not screw it up like the series finale of Seinfeld. Good lord.

In an effort to help the writers of Lost address some lingering issues and ensure that the payoff is worth it, Bumble humbly offers some suggestions.

First the “Dont’s”

  1. Do not forget to explain the infidel SMOKE MONSTER!
  2. Please do not tear a hole in the real universe with your incessant flashback-flashforward crappola!
  3. Do not even think about having a flash back with Boone or some other second rate season one bit player!

Not a bad idea Frank! Bumble suggests Kate and Juliette.

Now some helpful hints for the brilliant writers of Lost

  1. Go out with a “bang”, even if it has to be pay per view. After six years watching scantily clad Evangeline Lilly, Bumble will pay up to $19.99 for an On Demand farewell. For the ladies out there Bumble supposes a similar finale with Sawyer or Jack could be arranged.
  2. GOTO 1

Gratuitous sandy Kate Photo...

Actually that’s the only suggestion Bumble has for this infuriating show. Kill them all, don’t kill them all, whatever. Just so there is hot steamy sex for all 18 episodes, and it ends with something explicit. Let’s face it, the plot isn’t what made this show into a huge success. In fact, it was probably successful DESPITE a confusing bunch of quantum physics wannabe nerds writing in their mother’s basements. No offense Frank.

Hello Saywer!

Bumble watches this show for the same reason most males do. Hot, sweaty, sandy, babes stranded on an island. Oh and ladies, don’t even try it. Nobody thinks you care about physics either. Sure you enjoy the flashbacks and the deep plot twists. Will Kate find her true love? Will it be Sawyer or Jack?

Yeah right. You are so into the plot did you happen to notice the relativity equation in the Sawyer picture?

Nope. Bumble rests his case. Whatever happens during the final season, we all want the same thing. End 6 seasons of foreplay with a bang.

It appears as though Bumble has some other business to take care of right now. See you non-rodent types on February 3rd! Death to Ground Hogs!

BRING IT ON RAT!!!

Posted in LOST | Tagged , , | 4 Comments »

General Cabra Escapes From FarmVille!

January 24, 2010 by bumblenation

Many of you have been wondering just where the heck Bumble went after Christmas. Was Bumble’s New Year’s Resolution to never blog again? Nope. Unfortunately, Bumble has spent nearly a month in a heated legal battle with an insolent subversive goat! On New Year’s Eve, General Jorge Cabra left Bumble’s farm. As if that were not bad enough, the stupid goat started his own blog to give away trade secrets acquired while “working” for Bumble.

To kick off 2010, Bumble received a “Cease and Desist” letter from the aforementioned ingrate. The thrust of the document stated that Bumble had to stop both BLOGGING and playing FARMVILLE! Imagine!

Being a black Persian cat, Bumble quickly secured the help of a legendary litigator to help in his cause.

Who told you to use a bomb?!? Who uses a bomb? What is a bomb anyway?

After several weeks of negotiation, and one failed attempt to um make the problem go away General Cabra and Bumble have reached a resolution. Bumble is once again allowed to play FarmVille and maintain his blog.

The concession is … Bumble has to link to the damn goat’s blog. So in the name of “due diligence” please check out the infidel goat’s blog by clicking on the picture of this chupacabra. May he find General Jorge to be tasty!

Bumble wishes you well GOAT!

Editor’s note from Daddy: In the interest of Team Longo not going through more legal battles… The official site is farmvilldailyworker.com. Also, as required we will be displaying an advertisement on Infidel Nation until further notice.

Posted in Farmville Addictions | Tagged , , | 1 Comment »

Bumble Reviews A Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

December 27, 2009 by bumblenation

Sometimes ideas for blog posts just come to Bumble, others are thrust upon him.

As per custom, Bumble attended Christmas Eve service with the in-laws. This was year 10 of Bumble attending a Methodist church on Christmas Eve. No, the church does not fall down! Death to you! Ahem… anyway, Bumble digresses.

The annual service at this particular church culminates with the congregation lighting candles and singing Silent Night. It is moving and sounds almost ethereal. That of course is the highlight and finale of the evening. Prior to that, there is an hour and a half of singing, readings, the sermon, collection, and finally communion. No, Bumble does not partake of the Sacrament, but Methodist communion is open to everyone. In theory they are open to giving communion to angry Persian Islamic cats. Bumble still opted not to put theory into practice. Maybe next year.

Bumble is a veteran Christmas Christian now, with a decade attending service at the same church. With that experience comes a natural tendency to compare this year’s service to the previous years’.  There was one highlight this year for Bumble, which was probably a low point for everyone else, but that didn’t come until halfway through the night.

Bumble’s first impression was set when the pastor made his appearance. He was wearing a wireless microphone headset similar to something Justin Timberlake might wear to perform! Bumble honestly thought that was a good sign. I mean, this is the BIG show for the church. Christmas is money time, and Christmas Eve is the Wrestlemania and SuperBowl of Christianity. In short, it doesn’t get any bigger than this! That’s right, Bumble called Christmas Eve the Wrestlemania of Christianity!

Ok, maybe not THAT halftime show...

Time to bring the A game, convert some Christmas Christians to weekly attendees and set the foundation for next year’s bake sales. Granted this was a small church that seated about 400 people. Bumble didn’t expect fireworks, celebrity appearances and guest singers. Still, somewhere in Bumble’s egg nog soaked noggin a spark of hope ignited. Maybe this year would be the spectacle worthy of the church’s equivalent of a Super Bowl halftime show!

The service began with a prayer and then right into the initial hymn. Just a side note, Methodists sing every verse for better or worse. Sadly that last sentence had more rhythm than the congregation. The choir was fine, but the “flock” literally sounded like bleating sheep. Even with the hymnals it seemed nobody knew the words. Bumble kept looking around for Simon Cowell, but tragically the beat went on. It may have helped if the chosen hymns were a little less obscure. Bumble is just sending that out there for next year. Star Child? Really?

Pie-tie? Pity? ummm

After that debacle a teenager wearing ripped jeans and doing his best to look like Edward Cullen did a reading from Luke. Apparently he went to the George W. Bush School of public speaking, because this was painful. He mispronounced piety. Again, this is the SUPERBOWL for you guys right? Maybe someone should have practiced a bit with the kid? Bumble is sure he was nervous, but it truly seemed like there wasn’t even a rehearsal ahead of time. Maybe (hopefully) he was filling in admirably for someone at the last minute. Bumble remains skeptical and judgmental.

Finally, on to the homily. That’s when the Pastor gets his fifteen minutes of fame to pontificate on the season. A good oratory here would at least breath some life into the congregation. In all fairness, Bumble actually enjoyed it. This would be Bumble’s high point, and again the low point for everyone else.

In a rather unconventional start, the pastor used FaceBook as a point of departure. No, really! Bumble wouldn’t go as far as to say FaceBook is bigger than Jesus, but the pastor did suggest Jesus is on FaceBook. The pastor began by explaining FaceBook to the congregation. He briefly described how you can accept or ignore someone with the click of a button. Bumble has to give him credit for trying, but he seemed to lose at least half of the audience. The average age had to be 50.

Then in what can only be described as “a stretch”, he explained accepting Jesus in your life through the context of FaceBook. Bumble really can’t add much to this. Instead we’ll end with Bumble passing along this new chestnut from Christmas Eve, along with the image that formed in Bumble’s head when he heard it. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Pastor: “This holiday season if you get a chance to friend Jesus, don’t click ignore.”

ooof, this is awkward... he'll probably know if I ignore him... but we were never that close in high school...

Posted in Christmas and Holiday Fun | Tagged , , | 2 Comments »

What to make for Christmas Dinner…

December 24, 2009 by bumblenation

Most families have a pretty established traditional dinner for Thanksgiving. It simply must include turkey. Christmas dinner is much more open to interpretation. The Dickensian version of Christmas dinner is of course figgy pudding and roast goose. Death to Dickens! Who has time for all that? If you happened to have had time to make all that, please invite Bumble over as Mommy has no idea how to make that stuff.

Carving the roast beast!

Ham seems to be a favorite, as well as roast beef and a recurrence of turkey. Bumble tried to nail down a universal standard this time of year, but he simply couldn’t.

Some busy families go for something that can be prepared ahead of time like Lasagna. The truly important part about Christmas dinner seems to be ease in preparation. As opposed to a 4-6 hour ordeal with a mammoth turkey. It’s only natural that after three weeks of shopping, decorating the tree, assembling gifts,  filling out Christmas Cards, and dealing with the excessive crowds dinner is a bit anticlimactic.

That’s ok! Heck, by the point Christmas dinner is served you probably already…

  • hate your “loved” ones.
  • know that the gifts you got suck and are already calculating their return value on the 26th.
  • are really sick of trying to be jolly.
  • are drunk on wine and xanax in an effort to numb the experience.
  • all of the above.

If like Bumble, you look forward to the booze and a nap more than the actual dinner please consider Bumble’s suggestion for your Christmas menu.

Make Spaghetti! Why, you ask? Simple…

It makes Jesus smile when you eat Spaghetti on his birthday.

Back in 2005, a man named Bobby Henderson created the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (aka Pastafarianism). Originally, this was in protest to a decision by the Kansas State Board of Education requiring the teaching of “Intelligent Design”.  The Flying Spaghetti Monster has become a symbol for atheists world wide since 2005. It illustrates what they view as the arbitrary nature of God. In short, you might as well worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Bumble really does NOT make this stuff up.

The now famous Touched By His Noodly Appendage.

Isn’t it bad enough that Jesus has to compete with a slew of relatively “late to the party” religions like Islam, Judaism,  Buddhism, Hinduism and all the others?

WHAT?!?!?!

Oops, Judaism was first! Bumble apologizes unreservedly. Buddhism, Islam and and Hinduism came later.

WHAT DID CAT SAY?!??

Oh brother. Again, Bumble apologizes. Apparently only Islam came about after Christianity. Nevertheless, both Islam and Christianity have thousands of years of seniority over the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Hopefully we can all agree that we don’t need another religion. We clearly have enough to be confused.  We especially don’t need a four year old made up “anti-religion” church with a semolina and meatball deity!

So put Jesus back in Christmas this year, and eat his nemesis for Christmas dinner. Make some spaghetti for Christ’s sake!.

Christmas to you!

Editor’s Note (from Daddy): We apologize on behalf of the cat if he has offended you, your god, your holiday or well um everyone. Frankly, we gave up a long time ago on Bumble making Santa’s “Nice” list.

Posted in Christmas and Holiday Fun | Tagged , , | 3 Comments »

Make An Impact With This Last Minute Christmas Gift for FarmVille Addicts

December 18, 2009 by bumblenation

Many of you have friends that are addicted to FarmVille on FaceBook. You undoubtedly know who your addicted friends are from the amount of updates you see daily on your wall. Just look at what Bumble’s friends suffer daily (or sometimes hourly).

Bumble never said he wasn't an addict!

If you don’t know anything yet about FarmVille, consider yourself lucky. It is highly addictive, fun and mocked by quite a bit of the FaceBook community. So what do you get this Christmas for your FarmVille addict friends?

First, bear with Bumble as he gives you just a little insight into the workings of FarmVille.

FarmVille addicts can probably agree that nothing is more helpful than getting gifts from their FarmVille neighbors every day. These are little pixelated sheep, chickens, cows and a massive variety of chotchkies for their virtual farm. Anyone that agrees to be your Neighbor can send you one gift per day. Conversely, you can send them gifts once per day as well. These are free to gift, but cost your friend coins if they were to purchase them for themselves. So “Gifting” is a way to help each other move up in the FarmVille world faster. These gifts also keep on giving.

How to send fake animals and livestock to fake farms...

Sending someone a Cow, or Tree in FarmVille gives them a steady income forever after. They can harvest these daily for Milk, Fruit etc. which is worth income. And so the circle of life goes on.

As nice as it is to get virtual livestock in a game, imagine if you were hungry and someone sent you a real goat? It would provide milk, possibly meat, and in the long run could change your entire quality of life.

Real cows for real people!

Enter Heifer International. Heifer is an organization dedicated to providing people in need around the world with sustainable sources of food and income. Heifer International has active projects in 53 countries (from Argentina to Zimbabwe) AND 27 U.S. States.

For as little as $20 you can send a family, village, or community a Flock of Chicks, Ducks or Geese. For $500, you and a group of your friends can send an actual cow. These gifts ultimately provide food and offspring. Part of Heifer’s success story requires recipients to distribute offspring to others in need, thus “Passing on the Gift”. Imagine the pyramid effect this creates in a small community where food is scarce. Sort of a Ponzi scheme for good.

Don’t have $20?

For as little as $10 you can send a share of a goat, pig, trio of rabbits or a share of a tree. You are contributing a share of the cost (not a

Heifer only sends the whole goats (even if you can only afford a share)

piece of a goat). That would hardly be sustainable now would it?

Once you have placed your order, you can send a printable gift card or e-card that you have honored them with a gift from Heifer on their behalf.

This is a huge win/win. For as little as $10 you can…

  • Help someone feed themselves not just today, but in days to come!
  • Turn the tables and Spam your FarmVille friends for once about goats, pigs and chickens!
  • Give a gift with value far exceeding it’s cost for once!

No self respecting FarmVille addict can rebuff you for sending someone in need real livestock on their behalf. So skip the chotchkie or stocking stuffer and make a difference this Christmas.

To visit Heifer’s online Gift Catalog just click the image below or visit www.heifer.org

How to send real trees and animals to real people that need them!

Posted in Christmas and Holiday Fun, Farmville Addictions | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

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