Yup, 5 seasons done and Bumble is still LOST!

On Tuesday, February 2nd the sixth and final season of Lost will begin. That’s at 9pm EST for those of you that cannot help yourselves. The season is slated for 18 episodes, with the series finale to air in May. So what can we expect in the final season?

Well given the propensity of the writers to be wankers, and the fact that the final season begins on Ground Hog Day, Bumble has some thoughts on the matter. Is it a coincidence that they are starting out on Ground Hog Day? Will it mean six more weeks of “WTF was that?!?!” Let’s ask the king of all Groundhogs, Punxatawny Phil.

Ahem. Well it appears the Groundhog has no prophetic powers when it comes to Lost. As a matter of fact the little bastard isn’t that great at predicting spring either! Just once it wound be nice if the furry infidel would go out on a limb and say something like “Nope, Winter is over! You can all take off your snow tires”. Stupid rodent.

Bill should have killed that pompous jackass when he had the chance!

Ummm. Right, Lost. So it starts on Ground Hog day. Something just doesn’t smell right about that. Perhaps it is because Bumble can’t help but think of that movie. You know the one, where Bill Murray wakes up every day and starts all over again.

What if Lost Season 6 starts out like that? No, not with an alarm clock going off and blaring “I Got You Babe”. Though that does have some potential. No, what if Season 6 begins with the plane crashing all over again? Bumble would be devastated.

It is bad enough that there is just no closure in life. If they screw up this series, Bumble doesn’t know what he will do! After over 100 episodes ending with neither an explanation, nor a gratuitous nip slip from Kate that damn show is infuriating! Bumble is emotionally invested now. They better not screw it up like the series finale of Seinfeld. Good lord.

In an effort to help the writers of Lost address some lingering issues and ensure that the payoff is worth it, Bumble humbly offers some suggestions.

First the “Dont’s”

1. Do not forget to explain the infidel SMOKE MONSTER!
2. Please do not tear a hole in the real universe with your incessant flashback-flashforward crappola!
3. Do not even think about having a flash back with Boone or some other second rate season one bit player!

Not a bad idea Frank! Bumble suggests Kate and Juliette.

Now some helpful hints for the brilliant writers of Lost

1. Go out with a “bang”, even if it has to be pay per view. After six years watching scantily clad Evangeline Lilly, Bumble will pay up to $19.99 for an On Demand farewell. For the ladies out there Bumble supposes a similar finale with Sawyer or Jack could be arranged.
2. GOTO 1

Gratuitous sandy Kate Photo...

Actually that’s the only suggestion Bumble has for this infuriating show. Kill them all, don’t kill them all, whatever. Just so there is hot steamy sex for all 18 episodes, and it ends with something explicit. Let’s face it, the plot isn’t what made this show into a huge success. In fact, it was probably successful DESPITE a confusing bunch of quantum physics wannabe nerds writing in their mother’s basements. No offense Frank.

Hello Saywer!

Bumble watches this show for the same reason most males do. Hot, sweaty, sandy, babes stranded on an island. Oh and ladies, don’t even try it. Nobody thinks you care about physics either. Sure you enjoy the flashbacks and the deep plot twists. Will Kate find her true love? Will it be Sawyer or Jack?

Yeah right. You are so into the plot did you happen to notice the relativity equation in the Sawyer picture?

Nope. Bumble rests his case. Whatever happens during the final season, we all want the same thing. End 6 seasons of foreplay with a bang.

It appears as though Bumble has some other business to take care of right now. See you non-rodent types on February 3rd! Death to Ground Hogs!

BRING IT ON RAT!!!

To kick off 2010, Bumble received a “Cease and Desist” letter from the aforementioned ingrate. The thrust of the document stated that Bumble had to stop both BLOGGING and playing FARMVILLE! Imagine!

Being a black Persian cat, Bumble quickly secured the help of a legendary litigator to help in his cause.

Who told you to use a bomb?!? Who uses a bomb? What is a bomb anyway?

After several weeks of negotiation, and one failed attempt to um make the problem go away General Cabra and Bumble have reached a resolution. Bumble is once again allowed to play FarmVille and maintain his blog.

The concession is … Bumble has to link to the damn goat’s blog. So in the name of “due diligence” please check out the infidel goat’s blog by clicking on the picture of this chupacabra. May he find General Jorge to be tasty!

Bumble wishes you well GOAT!

Editor’s note from Daddy: In the interest of Team Longo not going through more legal battles… The official site is farmvilldailyworker.com. Also, as required we will be displaying an advertisement on Infidel Nation until further notice.

Sometimes ideas for blog posts just come to Bumble, others are thrust upon him.

As per custom, Bumble attended Christmas Eve service with the in-laws. This was year 10 of Bumble attending a Methodist church on Christmas Eve. No, the church does not fall down! Death to you! Ahem… anyway, Bumble digresses.

The annual service at this particular church culminates with the congregation lighting candles and singing Silent Night. It is moving and sounds almost ethereal. That of course is the highlight and finale of the evening. Prior to that, there is an hour and a half of singing, readings, the sermon, collection, and finally communion. No, Bumble does not partake of the Sacrament, but Methodist communion is open to everyone. In theory they are open to giving communion to angry Persian Islamic cats. Bumble still opted not to put theory into practice. Maybe next year.

Bumble is a veteran Christmas Christian now, with a decade attending service at the same church. With that experience comes a natural tendency to compare this year’s service to the previous years’.  There was one highlight this year for Bumble, which was probably a low point for everyone else, but that didn’t come until halfway through the night.

Bumble’s first impression was set when the pastor made his appearance. He was wearing a wireless microphone headset similar to something Justin Timberlake might wear to perform! Bumble honestly thought that was a good sign. I mean, this is the BIG show for the church. Christmas is money time, and Christmas Eve is the Wrestlemania and SuperBowl of Christianity. In short, it doesn’t get any bigger than this! That’s right, Bumble called Christmas Eve the Wrestlemania of Christianity!

Ok, maybe not THAT halftime show...

Time to bring the A game, convert some Christmas Christians to weekly attendees and set the foundation for next year’s bake sales. Granted this was a small church that seated about 400 people. Bumble didn’t expect fireworks, celebrity appearances and guest singers. Still, somewhere in Bumble’s egg nog soaked noggin a spark of hope ignited. Maybe this year would be the spectacle worthy of the church’s equivalent of a Super Bowl halftime show!

The service began with a prayer and then right into the initial hymn. Just a side note, Methodists sing every verse for better or worse. Sadly that last sentence had more rhythm than the congregation. The choir was fine, but the “flock” literally sounded like bleating sheep. Even with the hymnals it seemed nobody knew the words. Bumble kept looking around for Simon Cowell, but tragically the beat went on. It may have helped if the chosen hymns were a little less obscure. Bumble is just sending that out there for next year. Star Child? Really?

Pie-tie? Pity? ummm

After that debacle a teenager wearing ripped jeans and doing his best to look like Edward Cullen did a reading from Luke. Apparently he went to the George W. Bush School of public speaking, because this was painful. He mispronounced piety. Again, this is the SUPERBOWL for you guys right? Maybe someone should have practiced a bit with the kid? Bumble is sure he was nervous, but it truly seemed like there wasn’t even a rehearsal ahead of time. Maybe (hopefully) he was filling in admirably for someone at the last minute. Bumble remains skeptical and judgmental.

Finally, on to the homily. That’s when the Pastor gets his fifteen minutes of fame to pontificate on the season. A good oratory here would at least breath some life into the congregation. In all fairness, Bumble actually enjoyed it. This would be Bumble’s high point, and again the low point for everyone else.

In a rather unconventional start, the pastor used FaceBook as a point of departure. No, really! Bumble wouldn’t go as far as to say FaceBook is bigger than Jesus, but the pastor did suggest Jesus is on FaceBook. The pastor began by explaining FaceBook to the congregation. He briefly described how you can accept or ignore someone with the click of a button. Bumble has to give him credit for trying, but he seemed to lose at least half of the audience. The average age had to be 50.

Then in what can only be described as “a stretch”, he explained accepting Jesus in your life through the context of FaceBook. Bumble really can’t add much to this. Instead we’ll end with Bumble passing along this new chestnut from Christmas Eve, along with the image that formed in Bumble’s head when he heard it. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Pastor: “This holiday season if you get a chance to friend Jesus, don’t click ignore.”

ooof, this is awkward... he'll probably know if I ignore him... but we were never that close in high school...

Carving the roast beast!

Ham seems to be a favorite, as well as roast beef and a recurrence of turkey. Bumble tried to nail down a universal standard this time of year, but he simply couldn’t.

Some busy families go for something that can be prepared ahead of time like Lasagna. The truly important part about Christmas dinner seems to be ease in preparation. As opposed to a 4-6 hour ordeal with a mammoth turkey. It’s only natural that after three weeks of shopping, decorating the tree, assembling gifts,  filling out Christmas Cards, and dealing with the excessive crowds dinner is a bit anticlimactic.

That’s ok! Heck, by the point Christmas dinner is served you probably already…

• hate your “loved” ones.
• know that the gifts you got suck and are already calculating their return value on the 26th.
• are really sick of trying to be jolly.
• are drunk on wine and xanax in an effort to numb the experience.
• all of the above.

If like Bumble, you look forward to the booze and a nap more than the actual dinner please consider Bumble’s suggestion for your Christmas menu.

Make Spaghetti! Why, you ask? Simple…

It makes Jesus smile when you eat Spaghetti on his birthday.

Back in 2005, a man named Bobby Henderson created the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (aka Pastafarianism). Originally, this was in protest to a decision by the Kansas State Board of Education requiring the teaching of “Intelligent Design”.  The Flying Spaghetti Monster has become a symbol for atheists world wide since 2005. It illustrates what they view as the arbitrary nature of God. In short, you might as well worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Bumble really does NOT make this stuff up.

The now famous Touched By His Noodly Appendage.

Isn’t it bad enough that Jesus has to compete with a slew of relatively “late to the party” religions like Islam, Judaism,  Buddhism, Hinduism and all the others?

WHAT?!?!?!

Oops, Judaism was first! Bumble apologizes unreservedly. Buddhism, Islam and and Hinduism came later.

WHAT DID CAT SAY?!??

Oh brother. Again, Bumble apologizes. Apparently only Islam came about after Christianity. Nevertheless, both Islam and Christianity have thousands of years of seniority over the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Hopefully we can all agree that we don’t need another religion. We clearly have enough to be confused.  We especially don’t need a four year old made up “anti-religion” church with a semolina and meatball deity!

So put Jesus back in Christmas this year, and eat his nemesis for Christmas dinner. Make some spaghetti for Christ’s sake!.

Christmas to you!

Editor’s Note (from Daddy): We apologize on behalf of the cat if he has offended you, your god, your holiday or well um everyone. Frankly, we gave up a long time ago on Bumble making Santa’s “Nice” list.

Bumble never said he wasn't an addict!

If you don’t know anything yet about FarmVille, consider yourself lucky. It is highly addictive, fun and mocked by quite a bit of the FaceBook community. So what do you get this Christmas for your FarmVille addict friends?

First, bear with Bumble as he gives you just a little insight into the workings of FarmVille.

FarmVille addicts can probably agree that nothing is more helpful than getting gifts from their FarmVille neighbors every day. These are little pixelated sheep, chickens, cows and a massive variety of chotchkies for their virtual farm. Anyone that agrees to be your Neighbor can send you one gift per day. Conversely, you can send them gifts once per day as well. These are free to gift, but cost your friend coins if they were to purchase them for themselves. So “Gifting” is a way to help each other move up in the FarmVille world faster. These gifts also keep on giving.

How to send fake animals and livestock to fake farms...

Sending someone a Cow, or Tree in FarmVille gives them a steady income forever after. They can harvest these daily for Milk, Fruit etc. which is worth income. And so the circle of life goes on.

As nice as it is to get virtual livestock in a game, imagine if you were hungry and someone sent you a real goat? It would provide milk, possibly meat, and in the long run could change your entire quality of life.

Real cows for real people!

Enter Heifer International. Heifer is an organization dedicated to providing people in need around the world with sustainable sources of food and income. Heifer International has active projects in 53 countries (from Argentina to Zimbabwe) AND 27 U.S. States.

For as little as $20 you can send a family, village, or community a Flock of Chicks, Ducks or Geese. For $500, you and a group of your friends can send an actual cow. These gifts ultimately provide food and offspring. Part of Heifer’s success story requires recipients to distribute offspring to others in need, thus “Passing on the Gift”. Imagine the pyramid effect this creates in a small community where food is scarce. Sort of a Ponzi scheme for good.

Don’t have $20?

For as little as $10 you can send a share of a goat, pig, trio of rabbits or a share of a tree. You are contributing a share of the cost (not a

Heifer only sends the whole goats (even if you can only afford a share)

piece of a goat). That would hardly be sustainable now would it?

Once you have placed your order, you can send a printable gift card or e-card that you have honored them with a gift from Heifer on their behalf.

This is a huge win/win. For as little as $10 you can…

• Help someone feed themselves not just today, but in days to come!

• Turn the tables and Spam your FarmVille friends for once about goats, pigs and chickens!

• Give a gift with value far exceeding it’s cost for once!

No self respecting FarmVille addict can rebuff you for sending someone in need real livestock on their behalf. So skip the chotchkie or stocking stuffer and make a difference this Christmas.

To visit Heifer’s online Gift Catalog just click the image below or visit www.heifer.org

How to send real trees and animals to real people that need them!

It is also a confusing time of year as two massive icons compete for the spotlight. Is Christmas about Jesus and his message, or Santa and his commercial messages? What the heck does a fat Swedish Saint (with at best a questionable fondness for children) have to do with celebrating the coming of the Messiah? Well nothing actually.  Despite that, somehow these two have existed together for years (probably because Jesus is so darn forgiving).

For a great deal of people, Christmas is both a religious holiday and retail shopping extravaganza. Unfortunately, you don’t actually have to believe in Jesus or Santa to participate. Bumble would like to point out, it is a little obvious to hop on the “Jesus bandwagon” just because you get stuff on his birthday. For the record, you are probably not fooling him! But sadly, all you need is cash or available credit to have a yourself a merry little Christmas thanks to Santa.

Don’t get Bumble wrong, Jesus is big this time of year. Church attendance soars on his Birthday. Little children do pageants about his birth in a faraway manger. Christians try very hard to keep him in the forefront of the holiday. Somehow in mainstream America he still ends up second fiddle.

Face it,  Santa is  bigger at this time of year. His impact is felt from main street to wall street. Little kids start getting reminded to be good around Black Friday. Otherwise Santa will give them just a lump of coal if they keep being naughty. Retailers plan their entire yearly profits around the Santa season.

So if the holiday was created to celebrate Jesus the question remains, why is the fat Swede bigger this time of year? His face is everywhere and it’s not even his birthday! The answer is simple…

Superior Marketing

Let’s take an unbiased look at the difference in how both are presented…

This just goes to show the power of marketing. Clearly you don’t have to be the first to market with something to dominate the market share. Heck, Jesus invented Christmas, and Santa is still just better at self promotion and keeping himself in the spotlight.

Bumble can't make this stuff up!

He also has one crack marketing team. The modern Santa image was perfected by a gentleman named Haddon Sunblum for Coca Cola. Haddon also developed two other famous iconic images.

Aunt Jemima and the Quaker Oats man!

Talk about having a team of pros at your disposal.

Santa has also been constantly pitching products. Billy Mays pales in comparison. Bumble will close with just a few of the vintage ads featuring Santa over the years. Imagine the endorsement dollars it takes to employ all those elves.

Some of these are questionable at best.

MILF and Cookies for Santa?

Enjoy that beer little kiddies!

Somke up Johnny!

Santa is a media whore!

The vote tonight is not to actually pass the bill. In fact, this is only the first step. Tonight the Senate votes on whether or not to consider the bill. Yes, this is government at it’s finest. A vote to decide whether we should proceed and produce legislation worth voting on.

Hi my name was Ted before we started. They call me Bill now.

Passing tonight would put the bill before the Senate for consideration, amendment and modification. If the modified bill ultimately passed the Senate, this bill would be reconciled with the bill passed two weeks ago by the House. The final,  compromised bill would then go before the President who could sign it into law. Voila, health care reform!

So this is hardly the high drama of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. But there is something in common with the classic Jimmy Stewart movie.

Filibusters!

Tonight could be an epic filibuster. What’s a filibuster you say?

A filibuster can happen when a person or group wants to stifle a bill. Essentially, the Senate rules permit a senator, or group of senators to speak for as long as they wish about any topic they wish. This process can be halted if 3/5ths of the Senate bring the debate to a close by invoking cloture. Tonight that would require all the Democratic Senators plus two Independents to kill any Republican  filibuster.

24 hours must have felt like a lifetime to everyone that didn't live to be over 100

The record for filibustering is held by none other than Strom Thurmond back in 1957. He was filibustering against a civil rights bill for just over 24 hours. Strom Thurmond lived to be 101 years old, passing away in 2003.

As of right now, there seems to be a consensus that there will be enough votes to invoke cloture tonight and stop any sustained filibuster attempt.

So why would the Republicans even bother? Well for Republicans who oppose the bill, they have an obligation to do everything in their power to represent their constituents.

She's baaaaaack!

So get ready for it folks. This afternoon, and into the early evening be prepared to hear old white men reading you excerpts from… dun dun dun…

Going Rogue!

Remember, Senators can speak about any topic. They don’t even have to talk about health care reform. Unless 60 Senators are willing to stifle it, one lone Republican can read the Senate the entire text of Sarah Palin’s memoir. Then he can pass it to another and so on.

Without the 60th vote, this can continue all night effectively killing Health Care Reform before it ever gets debated in the Senate.

There are 58 Democrats and two Independents that make up the potential 60 needed votes. The Independents are Bernie Sanders of Vermont, and Joe Lieberman. Senator Sanders recently wrote the elegant 2 page “Too Big to Fail, Too Big to Exist Act”. Bumble senses Bernie will vote to stop the old men from reading from Going Rogue. Anyone with a 2 page act probably has no patience for tomfoolery.

That leaves us with Joe Lieberman.

Bumble has a special message for Joe.

LET THEM GO JOE!

You bring the popcorn Bumble, and Joe will let them go!

Please, please, please let the Republicans read “Going Rogue” at least once! It is only fair that they are forced to read it. We can wait a few more hours to know if this bill will be considered, if it means some stodgy old codger is forced to say Sarah Palin’s thoughts out loud. Frankly, this could be the highlight of the debate!

Don’t spoil it by voting too soon. Bumble knows you have a sense of humor Joe. Let em read slowly.

At the very least, the Republicans will be forced to acknowledge what they have in the chamber for 2012.

Obviously there must be something more in it for you than the sense of accomplishment at mastering your craft. Perhaps some small token for all your hard work? For most of us we will never get to stand aboard an aircraft carrier under a banner and declare “Mission Accomplished”. So what is the next best thing? What else…

A gold star!

Good for you, Jack!

Yup, nothing says “this wasn’t a waste of time” like a gold star!

There are three levels for each crop. At each level you will be justly rewarded with a gold star, and some additional coins and experience points.

Here is the payout for each mastery level.

But wait there is more! After reaching level 3, you also get a cool sign for your farm that touts your dedication (and addiction). After become a true master, you have a chance at every harvest becoming a “Premium” crop. Premium crops appear larger and are worth more experience points too. So keep harvesting those raspberries little farmers.

You know you covet it!

Et tu, FarmVille?

When will FarmVille release the Mighty Plantation? What are they afraid of anyway? The 24 x 24 Mighty Plantation is still listed as “Coming Soon!”. Unfortunately, Americans have enough important stuff tagged as “Coming Soon!”. Health care reform, economic recovery, decreased dependence on foreign oil, a plan for Afghanistan and Iraq are all similarly labeled as “Coming Soon!”. Americans have run out of patience in general. Must we also be forced to wait for the Mighty Plantation?

The answer is a resounding, and conspiratorial YES! To understand the conspiracy you must know some things about Bumble. Bumble has a few hobbies. Among Bumble’s favorite activities are FarmVille and policing pundits. Often Bumble likes to flip between MSNBC and Fox news to watch just how differently each network reports the days events. During the early afternoon it isn’t as obvious. After 8 pm, when the “news editorial” shows air the difference in slant becomes more overt. Olberman vs. Bill O’Reilly is the biggest discrepancy in news coverage since the Chicago Daily Tribune reported “Dewey Defeats Truman” back in ‘48. Sadly, in the Olberman vs. O’Reilly battle it isn’t clear which one is the Tribune.

What is clear is that cable news shows allow the media to influence public opinion like never before. So after a day of harvesting and twelve RedBulls, Bumble is nearing a full blown tizzy. Could it be that FarmVille is also being influenced by punditry? Can politics be playing a part in why they have yet to release the Mighty Plantation? Again, the answer is a big fat conspiratorial YES!

Zynga is holding off for one simple reason. Allowing Bumble to have a 24 x 24 farm would possibly make his plantation…

Too Big To Fail!

Break up Bumble's Farm!

Yup, you heard it from Bumble first. On Friday, November 6th Senator Bernie Sanders from Vermont introduced the “Too Big to Fail, Too Big to Exist Act of 2009″. The act is nearly two pages long, so Bumble hasn’t actually read it. But Bumble assumes it pertains to his FarmVille farm.

Public opinion is wavering on whether or not institutions can be too big for the public good. As we have seen, when the really big financial institutions are in trouble the effects can be catastrophic to the economy. Bailouts were deemed necessary to preserve the functioning of the market.

But really… Bumble’s farm?!?

Good consiparcy theories involve latinos!

Bumble employs one latino migrant worker and a goat! Hopefully, FarmVille will not wait to see the outcome of the current act before nutting up and releasing the Mighty Plantation. Sure, there may be other reasons for the delay in the release, but Bumble is skeptical. Just a week after the introduction of the Too Big To Exist act, FarmVille went with the soft launch of just the Big Ole Plantation. Coincidence, or Lou Dobbs level manic conspiracy theory?

Whatever the reason for the delay, Bumble’s farm is packed to it’s borders. The Big Ole Plantation just isn’t going to cut it. Bumble needs living space! His critters are cramped into pens unfit for livestock. 20 cows to a Dairy Farm? Madness! The small pond is over run with fish and ducks. Bumble must act soon, with or without the launch of the Mighty Plantation.

Klaus demands the Large Pond!

Bumble urges FarmVille to ignore the punditry and politics. Release the Mighty Plantation now! If it doesn’t come soon, Bumble will have to take matters into his own hands…

Bumble and General Cabra eye the Sudetenland...

Perhaps FarmVille is a glimpse at a better world where animals and people live in harmony. A world where kittens bring you yarn, ugly ducklings become swans, and pigs collect truffles in return for their slops. Instead of slaughtering livestock, FarmVille has made cutesy and harmless ways to harvest animals and keep the game cute and inoffensive.

Bumble finds this political correctness offensive!

Is there an evil PETA lobby pressuring the FarmVille folks? Are all the FarmVille employees vegetarians? Is it just too hard to make a cute graphic of a slaughterhouse?

Bumble has 6 pigs and not a single bacon bit! There are however truffles aplenty. That’s fine since Bumble can’t eat pork anyway. But Bumble has to draw the line at Thanksgiving dinner.

This morning Zynga released some great new seasonal decorations for FarmVille. Fellow FarmVille addicts can now spiffy up the farm with hay rolls, haystacks, leaves, maple trees and… baby turkeys!

Bumble bought his first baby turkey today. This evening the little fellow is 17% ready. We won’t know what it is preparing to do for a few more days. Bumble has a bad feeling that the little guy will not be producing Stove Stop stuffing to harvest.

Given the current innocuous nature of FarmVille animals, Bumble suspects the baby turkey will soon be producing Tofurkeys! Death to Tofurkeys!

Bumble has other plans for his baby turkey…

There is no triptophan in tofu..

Sorry baby turkey, but there will be no presidential pardon for you come Thanksgiving.

There is nothing worse than constantly having your Facebook cluttered with YoVille or FarmVille notifications. Nothing worse except being the dork that posted them. With that said, Bumble feels the need to share some tips with FarmVille addicts  and their friends to help keep the peace.

Q.  I don’t play FarmVille but my idiot friends do. How can I hide their FarmVille updates?

A: You should probably just un-friend them. Chances are if they are an addict they will only steal from you anyway, or try to get you to play too.  If you feel the need to hang on to every friend you can get, Facebook makes it simple to hide the notifications on your end.

From your Facebook News Feed find a post from FarmVille (or YoVille, Mafia Wars etc.)
Hover your cursor on the post until you see the ‘Hide’ menu on the right. You will then see a drop down with options to hide your friend, or the application from your News Feed.

This works for any Facebook application posting to your News Feed!

Q: Oops, I think I hid my friend by mistake! How do I undo this?

A: Sheesh. Refresh your News Feed page and scroll down until you see Edit Options on the right footer. Click it.

You can now add back Friends, Applications or Pages that you already have hidden.

Just in case you change your mind...

Q: I am the idiot playing FarmVille, but don’t want my friends to know. How do I stop FarmVille from sending notifications?

A: This is a common syndrome known as “salvaging your dignity by hiding your shame”. It is also easy. First and foremost, if you are prompted by FarmVille to Publish, SAY NO! Hit Skip, never Publish.

If they don't know, then you aren't an addict!

Q:  I sometimes get so excited to have an award from FarmVille that I hit Publish. Can I just disable the notices for FarmVille?

A: Yes! By default the applications like FarmVille, Mafia Wars, YoVille and FishVille are allowed to post to your wall.

To change the setting go to Settings >> Application Settings. You may have to hover your cursor there for a second until the drop down list appears.

Wait for the drop down, then click Application Settings.

Pick the application you want to Edit and click ‘Edit Settings’.

Uncheck the ‘Publish recent activity’ box on the Additional Permissions tab. Again this works for any application. This will halt any chance of inadvertent posts.

Yes Bumble Gifts from Cats is a real Facebook App.

Hopefully these tips will allow fellow FarmVille addicts to keep harvesting crops without losing friends. Likewise, if you have idiot FarmVille addict friends at least you know how to shut off the notices.

Around dusk, Javier built a small barricade of hay bales. This provided us with a perfect place to hide and wait for the demon dog.

Bumble may have fibbed a bit to the goat...

Bumble was pretty wired after weeks of watching Rocky IV and preparing for an altercation with the Chupacabra.

Primal predatory instincts honed from generations of evolution kicked into gear. Bumble’s senses were on red alert, every sound resonating that much louder, every smell that much smellier.

Never, ever give a goat Red Bull on a covert op!

It was early in the night when we had our first scare, err encounter.

Death from above!

From the sky we could hear the fluttering of wings. Undoubtedly the leathery, slimy wings of El Chupacabra rising from the Pumpkin patch to claim his bloody prize! The goat tensed, Bumble released his claws. Javier, well Javier just kind of stood there oblivious. Suddenly without warning the great beast descended on us! Instinct took over and Bumble instantly prepared for battle.

Fight or flight

False alarm, it was just a stupid owl. Death to owls! Several hours passed. Then several more. It began to get chilly in the Pumpkin patch. At about 3 am, Bumble retired to his pumpkin and left Jorge and Javier to stand watch. Bumble finally fell asleep despite their chattering on in Spanish.

General Fransisco Franco is still dead!

Just before daybreak Javier knocked on Bumble’s pumpkin lid. We could all hear a great and terrible rustling a few yards away. Bumble leaped from his pumpkin and readied for battle!

Apologies to Charles M.

Weeks of preparation came down to this one moment. With the moon behind him, the giant goat sucking beast reared its head!!!

El Chupacabra...?

What the duck?!

Not surprisingly, El Chupacabra has once again chosen to fear Bumble! The closest Bumble came was an owl, a retarded duck, and a balding kid with a blanket. Another night in the pumpkin patch and still the cowardly goat sucker will not return. Someday Bumble will get you…

Until next year… Death to Chupacabras!

Posted in Farmville Addictions Tagged: chupacabra, Farmville, Farmville Addicts, Great Pumpkin, halloween ]]> http://infidelnation.com/2009/11/08/halloween-night-farmville-el-chupacabra-vigil/feed/ 1 bumblenation chupacabraVigil1 chupacabraVigil2 chupacabraVigil3 chupacabraVigil4 chupacabraVigil5 chupacabraVigil6 chupacabraVigil9 chupacabraVigil10 http://infidelnation.com/2009/11/08/fox-news-versus-sesame-streets-pox-news-and-oscar-the-grouch/ http://infidelnation.com/2009/11/08/fox-news-versus-sesame-streets-pox-news-and-oscar-the-grouch/#comments Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:56:41 +0000 bumblenation http://infidelnation.com/?p=489 ]]>

Poorly doctored photo of Bumble and Oscar at Julliard back in '68

Recently Sesame Street re-aired a clip of the “Grouch News Network” featuring Bumble’s old buddy Oscar the Grouch. The bit, which frankly is not Oscar’s best work generated little hype two years ago when it ran. Of course back then the President was a Republican and Fox News was riding high. Alan Colmes was riding submissive shotgun to Sean Hannity to help curb the insanity. There was even talk of Fox CEO Roger Ailes running for President himself in 2012. In their hubris they even took a shot at getting a bubble headed homecoming queen elected Vice President.

Does... does she mean Icarus?!

Forward to this past month. Holmes is long gone. Glenn Beck is, well Glenn Beck. Roger Ailes announced a few weeks ago that he won’t run for President after all as the country needs the “fair and balanced” coverage he provides at Fox News more than it needs Ailes in the White House. Sarah Palin has stretched her 15 minutes into a recently released book. And Sesame Street is now considered a political enemy. Oh how the mighty have fallen!

The episode in question featured a take off on CNN called the Grouch News Network with Oscar. After the episode a caller told Oscar she was going to start watching “Pox News” because it was really trashy.

The reaction? Well the reaction came from an anonymous post on  right winger Andrew Breitbart’s blog Big Hollywood. Bumble will show you the quote and then translate it for his infidels.

If Mom and Dad watch cable news, it’s better than 50/50 they watch “POX News.”  So what gives? PBS — a network partially funded with my tax dollars — has the right to tell my kids that their parents watch “trashy” news?  The message is clear, I can’t even sit my kids in front of “Sesame Street” without having to worry about the Left attempting to undermine my authority…

Bumble’s translation: “Waaaaaaaaah! The democrats took our White House!

Latinos are better than you!

Are these people serious? Sesame Street is now part of the leftist conspiracy to undermine good family values?! What must they think of Dora the Explorer?

There are so many things upsetting about this, Bumble feels the need to write it in a list.

1. Someone at Fox News or Big Hollywood watches Sesame Street!
2. Nobody in a blue suit and red tie seems to have any sense of humor whatsoever (except Seth Meyers).
3. Someone at Fox News or Big Hollywood watches Sesame Street! Oh yeah, Bumble said that already.
4. Bill O’Reilly was the only one that actually thought it was kind of funny. He aired the clip and quipped “We may have to ambush Oscar”.

To be honest, Bumble does kind of like Bill O’Reilly. He is as close to “Bumble” as you can get on TV. Bumble even suspects that deep down Big Poppa would have loved to yell “Death to You!” more than a few times on his show. Plus Bill did have the sack to accept Jon Stewart’s invite to appear on The Daily Show. Wow, that makes Bill O’Reilly the most well grounded, stable person at Fox News. Yikes.

Hang in there Oscar, as soon as some teen mom loses her tot you will be back under the radar.

Since Bumble is brainstorming anyway, mmmmmm brains…

Huh? What? Oh right, here are some simple costume ideas you can pull off before All Hallows Eve Passes you by.

Glenn Beck

Halloween is a liberal conspiracy perpetrated by Big Candy!

This is probably the easiest costume, but you have to start preparing a few hours ahead of time. Begin by getting drunk to the point of being an incoherent idiot. Wear a jacket and tie and make a little name tag that says “Fox News”.

Now enjoy an evening of saying the most bizarre and unsubstantiated hateful things you can think of all in the name of Halloween.

Blue Screen of Death!

Bumble will dump your physical memory!

Nothing is scarier than the notorious Windows BSOD. It’s an easy costume too.

Step 1. Cut a hole in a box.
Oops, disregard that. That is an entirely different costume. For the BSOD, simply paint a box blue. Use a Sharpie and include the infamous words. “A problem has been detected and windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer… Beginning dump of physical memory.” Or if you are SUPER lazy, you can print this screen in color and tape it to your slovenly infidel T-Shirt. You are now ready to terrorize geeks with blogs everywhere.

German Costume

Everyone hates Germans, it’s a scientific fact. Being hated is almost as good as being scary on Halloween.

What you will need:

• Black turtleneck
• Vaseline (to slick back your hair)
• Arrogance
• Total lack of remorse
• Too much cologne
• Cigarettes – not to smoke, just to wave around like the euro-trash that you are

The rest is easy. Just follow these tips and people will know what you are supposed to be.

• Try to use a “z” sound in every sentence.
  

  Ya, it is funny because z'it is true.

• Say ‘Ya’ to start most sentences.
• If someone puts down candy or a drink, immediately “annex” it for your own.
• By the middle of the night, try to have “annexed” most of the candy or drinks for your own.
• By the end of the night make sure you have not only lost all the candy and drinks but are generally hated as well.

Happy Halloween Infidels!

It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, it was unseasonably warm. Some children came to the door begging for candy, and Bumble bolted. Mommy screamed, but Bumble kept his head down and ran for sweet freedom. He had been locked in the house for days. The night was relatively uneventful until about midnight. Bumble spent the early evening howling at children and generally trying to look spooky. Around midnight, Bumble heard a rustling in some leaves behind him. Glancing back he saw what can only be described as the unholy goat sucking Chupacabra.

Bumble did what any upstanding militant black panther cat would do. He shrieked like a kitten, and scampered up the nearest tree. Bumble must have been 25 feet in the air before he turned and looked back. El Chupacabra sniffed at the base of the tree and growled. Bumble threw back his ears and yelled “Death to you stupid Chupacabra!”. After a moment it skulked off into the darkness. Bumble was safe.

Little help!

Unfortunately, Bumble had not really plotted an exit strategy. Bumble tried to back down slowly, but only got a foot or so before reconsidering.  Safe from the devil’s dog, Bumble was now stuck in a tree on Halloween. Bumble did what any good militant black Persian cat would do. He howled at the moon.

It was at least an hour before Bumble heard Daddy calling him from the road. Stupid human tried to get Bumble to jump for it. No sir. After much cursing, Daddy returned with Mommy and an extension ladder. As grateful as Bumble was to be rescued, Bumble still felt it necessary to scratch and hiss. Nevertheless, Bumble was eventually returned to home around 2 am.

The Chubacabra was long gone. Some say there is no such thing. Bumble knows differently. He has seen the infidel dog-beast face to face. Only something as terrifying the Chupacabra could account for Bumble treeing himself on Halloween night. This year Bumble plans to redeem himself. Bumble will wait up all night on the deck for the beast to return. This time there will be no running. Bumble is not a kitten now. He is the fiercest alpha predator of the yard! Bring it on Chupacabra! Bumble will drag your corpse onto television and end the debate once and for all!

Editors Note (From Daddy).

Two years ago Bumble did indeed run away on Halloween night. At about midnight, I realized he was still outside. Given that people do mess with black cats, I grabbed a flashlight and went looking for him. As I called to him, he responded with a terribly pathetic cry for help. He wailed and wailed until I climbed a ladder to rescue him. There is nothing quite like walking down he road late on Halloween carrying an extension ladder and a black cat. I have no idea what scared him up the tree. I suspect it was a 6 year old with a glow stick. The next day he came up with the Chupacabra story after seeing an episode of Monsterquest.