Many of you already know that December 12, 2012 marks the end of the Mayan long calender. Many books have been written regarding just what that means. Bumble has read none of these! You do not get Bumble’s hard earned money for a book which ultimately is as conclusive as Punxatawny Phil’s weather forecasts.
The days of book learning are over. Bumble can draw his own conclusions nicely without you stinky academics. That is what pop culture is for anyway, to slowly socialize the sheep of civilization into what will eventually be a reality.
Just looking at TV and Movies it has become quite clear the end is nigh. The only question is just what kind of disaster will occur? Will it be a flood? Perhaps an asteroid strike?
Bumble’s personal guess is a cosmic EMP (Electro Magnetic Pulse) which would destroy all electronics. Wiping out all the smart phones, internet and TV alone would create a zombie apocalypse of its own. Generations of fat kids would stumble outside into direct sunlight for the first time in years. Hungry and bored they would begin to eat anything that could satisfy their incessant craving to be fed. Regardless of just what might occur on that date one thing is clear.
Now is the time for panic and preparation!
Bumble knows what you are thinking though. “Just how can I be sure the world is ending?” Simple.
The government isn’t talking about it. Nope. Not a word. In fact, you can pretty much rest assured that anything the government does talk about is a distraction from some larger more sinister truth that they wish to keep secret. The lack of government banter about 2012 is a clear sign that they know something we don’t. Clearly the stuffed shirts in Washington are busy preparing underground shelters while distracting the masses with silly issues that really don’t matter. Particularly if a giant EMP is headed our way.
With that in mind, Bumble has been slowly assembling his bug out bag and survival cache. In building his base camp, Bumble has become more familiar with the Survivalist sub-culture which will quickly become the new nobility after Dec 12, 2012. Why? Because they will have stockpiles of toilet paper and bullets. Bumble defies you to wipe your bum or take down a rabbit with your Visa card. No, those with the truly bare essentials on hand can and will survive whatever happens.
During his preparations, Bumble noticed something truly scary. Merchants and retailers are not advertising anything about the end of the world! Remember Y2K? Everyone was trying to cash in. You probably got flooded with emails trying to sell you generators. But this time, nothing. In fact, this is the last Christmas season ever according to those Mayans. Yet not one company has marketed to Christmas shoppers referencing “Buy now, Pay Never”. Why not?
They can’t! That’s right! Bumble recently received a tip from an anonymous and possibly fictitious source that the government has quietly removed all attempts by marketers to use certain terms in advertisements. You heard it here first. There is a massive coverup prohibiting retailers from marketing the end of the world. The government clearly doesn’t want the huddled masses to survive.
Despite their attempts, a few brave retailers have secretly created discounts and coupon codes to help the rest of us acquire necessary goods for the end times. In fact Ham Radio operators have been exchanging coupon codes for months. The group of retailers have quietly agreed to make coupon codes called “Mayan2012″. These can be used on websites to save money. Unfortunately, they have no way to let the people know about them. Until now!
Bumble fears no white vans!
If you know of any websites that accept the secret code add them here in our comments section. Bumble tips his hat to those of you brave leaders of humanity that are trying to keep society alive despite the man.