Today a court ruled that California’s Proposition 8, banning same sex marriage was unconstitutional. The issue is hardly resolved, but it is considered a major victory for proponents of same sex marriages.
Bumble is admittedly baffled to some degree by the ongoing debate. This is primarily due to Bumble’s overall bewilderment with marriage in general. It seems to be a uniquely human concept that Bumble just can’t get behind. Sheesh, did that sound gay? Marriage to Bumble appears to be some sort of legal contract binding one of you to do the laundry forever, and the other to be the “all time” groundskeeper. What’s worse, you may only enter this compact on condition that you both swear to never have sex with anyone else. If you mess it up, you lose half your stuff. My god! Why would anyone do that in the first place?? There are laundromats, landscapers, and hookers. In other words, there is an easier way to get your laundry done, lawn mowed, and um lawn mowed.
Fortunately, Bumble doesn’t have to understand the concept to identify the winners and losers in today’s landmark ruling.
Winners:
Fox News:
Well this ongoing debate is easy “editorial” fodder for months. Already interns are frantically trying to find 3 experts on gayness for Bill O’Reilly to yell at. In reality, anything like this can be misrepresented loudly as fact by pundits. Sadly, Fox is the Fear Factor of news. It’s only a matter of days before Hannity or O’Reilly drub up some crazy senario where the whole thing is a liberal media conspiracy perpetrated by Rachel Maddow and the Red Hat Society. Whatever they come up with, it should be entertaining.
Rachel Maddow: Hopefully she will get blamed by Big Poppa and the Fox henchman for Prop 8 being overruled. Bumble thinks she would take that as a great compliment and really like the attention. That kind of publicity might even allow her show’s ratings to finally beat Deadliest Catch. On the other hand, Rachel is now a step closer to having the right to be married. Oh wait, she lives in Massachusetts and already could have been married to her long time partner. Hmmmmm perhaps she is secretly with Bumble on the whole laundromats, landscapers and hookers philosophy.
Divorce Attorneys: Their potential client base at least in California has doubled. Ching, Ching. Congratulations gay Californians, you now have the right to pay a lawyer to determine who gets the Celine Dion box set after your next breakup.
Losers:
California gays and lesbians in a serious relationship but who have a fear of commitment: Yeah, you are screwed. The convenient excuse of “I would love to marry you hunnie, but sad to say it’s not possible” has just been removed. Talk about pressure. What’s the acceptable window before these people have to propose or start getting ultimatums?
Mel Gibson: Nothing to do with same sex marriage but any losers list really has to include him at this point.
Protesters of Same Sex Marriage: Yes the court’s decision is a blow hehe, but with protests like these Bumble is not surprised.
Nobody was even debating that! Bad protester!
That isn't much of a disguise and he still infiltrated your protest! Ha!
Man with sign, you are now an honorary infidel. Congrats!
In conclusion, if humans are going to support this insane institution it might as well be equally available to all kinds of crazy people. Frankly Bumble doesn’t see all the hub bub about gay marriage anyway. If you think homosexuality is wrong the surest way to kill it is to allow gays to get married. If their marriages are like straight marriages it will nearly assure that they stop having sex.
Feedback:
This was a good reply on Facebook and we thought we would share it here.
ok Bumble you are a big conspiracy type thinker.. what about this one. That the insurance companies, car, health, ect and the government would loose the extra money that …the “Gays” have to pay for separate policy’s and Separate tax’s. 2 health insurances , 2 life insurances, 2 car insurances.. no multi family member discounts here. And tax’s if your mommy and daddy had to pay 2 single tax’s rather than 1 married tax. They might not be able to help you keep your hosting account.. just thoughts to ponder.
BTW
..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behaviorCAT is on the list
Well, obviously that hub bub! Bumble actually meant he didn’t see why anyone would care to limit membership in this silly club. In retrospect the wording was open to interpretation and could seem ignorant. If there is one thing Infidel Nation doesn’t represent it is ignorance. =)
These are all really good reasons to allow gay marriage, and for the record Bumble agrees with you. Not allowing it is discriminatory and unconstitutional. Regardless of sexual orientation everyone should have access to the same benefits and drawbacks of married life. The benefits are pretty well stated above. If you want to save money on insurance and have your relationship recognized all for the low price of monogamy, involving lawyers in your break ups, and two sets of obligatory family functions every year you certainly should be allowed to roll the dice too.
Bumble’s point is more that marriage in general is a 50/50 proposition. The good marriages end in death! Are you sure you want to join? Perhaps marriage in general should be banned because it is a losing gamble for half the people that try it. Hey, maybe gay marriages will be more successful than 50% ending in divorce. Now that would be a real kick in the butt to the right wing family values preachers.
As to your link, yes some cats are gay. They are still not dumb enough to get married! Cats mate with any cat that is in heat, thus enabling them to walk away without cuddling and populate the earth with litters of bastard kittens. Sorry, cats are still smarter than humans.
