Most families have a pretty established traditional dinner for Thanksgiving. It simply must include turkey. Christmas dinner is much more open to interpretation. The Dickensian version of Christmas dinner is of course figgy pudding and roast goose. Death to Dickens! Who has time for all that? If you happened to have had time to make all that, please invite Bumble over as Mommy has no idea how to make that stuff.
Carving the roast beast!
Ham seems to be a favorite, as well as roast beef and a recurrence of turkey. Bumble tried to nail down a universal standard this time of year, but he simply couldn’t.
Some busy families go for something that can be prepared ahead of time like Lasagna. The truly important part about Christmas dinner seems to be ease in preparation. As opposed to a 4-6 hour ordeal with a mammoth turkey. It’s only natural that after three weeks of shopping, decorating the tree, assembling gifts, filling out Christmas Cards, and dealing with the excessive crowds dinner is a bit anticlimactic.
That’s ok! Heck, by the point Christmas dinner is served you probably already…
- hate your “loved” ones.
- know that the gifts you got suck and are already calculating their return value on the 26th.
- are really sick of trying to be jolly.
- are drunk on wine and xanax in an effort to numb the experience.
- all of the above.
If like Bumble, you look forward to the booze and a nap more than the actual dinner please consider Bumble’s suggestion for your Christmas menu.
Make Spaghetti! Why, you ask? Simple…
It makes Jesus smile when you eat Spaghetti on his birthday.
Back in 2005, a man named Bobby Henderson created the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (aka Pastafarianism). Originally, this was in protest to a decision by the Kansas State Board of Education requiring the teaching of “Intelligent Design”. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has become a symbol for atheists world wide since 2005. It illustrates what they view as the arbitrary nature of God. In short, you might as well worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Bumble really does NOT make this stuff up.
The now famous Touched By His Noodly Appendage.
Isn’t it bad enough that Jesus has to compete with a slew of relatively “late to the party” religions like Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism and all the others?
WHAT?!?!?!
Oops, Judaism was first! Bumble apologizes unreservedly. Buddhism, Islam and and Hinduism came later.
WHAT DID CAT SAY?!??
Oh brother. Again, Bumble apologizes. Apparently only Islam came about after Christianity. Nevertheless, both Islam and Christianity have thousands of years of seniority over the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Hopefully we can all agree that we don’t need another religion. We clearly have enough to be confused. We especially don’t need a four year old made up “anti-religion” church with a semolina and meatball deity!
So put Jesus back in Christmas this year, and eat his nemesis for Christmas dinner. Make some spaghetti for Christ’s sake!.
Christmas to you!
Editor’s Note (from Daddy): We apologize on behalf of the cat if he has offended you, your god, your holiday or well um everyone. Frankly, we gave up a long time ago on Bumble making Santa’s “Nice” list.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
absolutely brilliant.
Great post. The Flying Spaghetti Monster deserves a movie.
“The Last Temptation of Pasta” destined for limited theatrical release but a worthy project nonetheless.
All hail Pastafariani!
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