Last Minute Halloween Costumes for the Unprepared.
Bumble can’t be the only one that waited until Halloween to come up with a costume. Oh I know some of you have been building costumes for weeks now. Death to you! Bumble was busy with FarmVille and has to rush around today to prepare.
Since Bumble is brainstorming anyway, mmmmmm brains…
Huh? What? Oh right, here are some simple costume ideas you can pull off before All Hallows Eve Passes you by.
Glenn Beck
Halloween is a liberal conspiracy perpetrated by Big Candy!
This is probably the easiest costume, but you have to start preparing a few hours ahead of time. Begin by getting drunk to the point of being an incoherent idiot. Wear a jacket and tie and make a little name tag that says “Fox News”.
Now enjoy an evening of saying the most bizarre and unsubstantiated hateful things you can think of all in the name of Halloween.
Blue Screen of Death!
Bumble will dump your physical memory!
Nothing is scarier than the notorious Windows BSOD. It’s an easy costume too.
Step 1. Cut a hole in a box.
Oops, disregard that. That is an entirely different costume. For the BSOD, simply paint a box blue. Use a Sharpie and include the infamous words. “A problem has been detected and windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer… Beginning dump of physical memory.” Or if you are SUPER lazy, you can print this screen in color and tape it to your slovenly infidel T-Shirt. You are now ready to terrorize geeks with blogs everywhere.
German Costume
Everyone hates Germans, it’s a scientific fact. Being hated is almost as good as being scary on Halloween.
What you will need:
- Black turtleneck
- Vaseline (to slick back your hair)
- Arrogance
- Total lack of remorse
- Too much cologne
- Cigarettes – not to smoke, just to wave around like the euro-trash that you are
The rest is easy. Just follow these tips and people will know what you are supposed to be.
- Try to use a “z” sound in every sentence.
Ya, it is funny because z'it is true.
- Say ‘Ya’ to start most sentences.
- If someone puts down candy or a drink, immediately “annex” it for your own.
- By the middle of the night, try to have “annexed” most of the candy or drinks for your own.
- By the end of the night make sure you have not only lost all the candy and drinks but are generally hated as well.
Happy Halloween Infidels!
They should make a horror movie about the BSOD. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It would have been a great Mac commercial for Halloween!
This week I ave mostly been eating prozac. This year I did halloween as a wanker.