Where is Bumble's Nobel Peace Prize?
Bumble doesn’t often get angry. Ok that’s a blatant lie, but so what? It’s not like Bumble was going to win a Nobel Peace Prize anyway!
Don’t get me wrong Bumble isn’t mad that it went to President Obama. Maybe a little confused, but not mad. Bumble is pretty upset that given the similarities between himself and the President, Bumble received no consideration!
Just look at the tale of the tape….
|
Bumble
|
Mr. Obama
|
Advantage |
||
| Black? |
Yes |
Yes |
Tie |
|
| Possibly Muslim? |
Yes |
Yes |
Tie |
|
| Proposed Plan for economic recovery? |
Yes |
Meh |
|
Killing Germans is better than nothing! |
| Ended war in Iraq? |
No |
No |
Tie |
|
| Ended war in Afghanistan? |
No |
No |
Tie |
|
| Slogan |
“Death to You!” |
“Change we can believe in.” |
|
Fair enough, Bumble can see why the Peace Prize selection committee was a little put off by “Death to You!” |
| Closed Guantanamo Bay? |
No |
No |
Tie |
|
| Reformed Health Care? |
No |
No |
Tie |
|
| Better than Bush? |
Yes |
Yes |
Tie |
|
| Hates Rush Limbaugh? |
Yes |
Yes |
Tie |
|
| Smoker? |
Yes |
Quitter |
|
Quitting shows a real lack of follow through. |
| Reopened dialogue with Iran? |
Never really closed it. |
Yes |
|
|
| Brought Olympics to Chicago? |
No |
No |
Tie |
|
| Friends with Oprah? |
No |
Yes |
|
|
| Actually elected President? |
No |
Yes |
|
|
| Marital Status |
Neutered |
Michelle |
Tie |
As you can see, it is pretty close. Depending on how you weight the whole “being President” thing, Bumble may actually be more deserving than Barrack Obama!
Now Bumble does understand that being President is a big piece of this, but still aren’t we splitting hairs? I mean at the least, shouldn’t Bumble have received an honorable mention? Bumble was clearly hosed, and probably because the selection committee is made of pseudo-Germans from Norway.
In the future, if semi-cool black cats who are possibly Muslim are considered for Nobel Prizes, Bumble would hope the committee is a little more fair.
p.s. Glenn Beck feel free to use this on your show.
Bumble was hosed!
I voted for Bumble … the rest of the committee voted no. It was not my fault. Death to them.
I demand a recount of the Nobel votes.
Bumble suspects the Norwegians are all named Chad!
Honestly… not that you need MORE of an advantage, but “Death To You!” is a much more catchy slogan.