Best reason ever to quit law school.

Back in ’97 Bumble spent a brief stint in law school at the University of Richmond. Overall this entire experience could be dubbed “The autumn of Socratic Method & Platonic Love”.

After just a few months, Bumble had a series of epiphanies.

1. It would cost about $100,000 to finish law school and hopefully land a job making $40k a year.

Instincts Bumble lacked.

2. If Bumble continued through law school, the best case scenario ended with Bumble as a lawyer! There was no hope of ending up a pornstar, basketball player or anything fun at all.

3. $100 grand is a lot of money to become something that is no fun.

4. Half the point of going through law school was for Bumble to be able to say he was a lawyer. Turns out you can say it for free, you just can’t actually be a lawyer.

5. Even Bumble wasn’t nasty enough to be good at being a lawyer.

So after much soul searching, Bumble decided to quit law school, save $100 grand and just say he was a lawyer. In fact for about $50 you can even get a document that says you are a lawyer.

What a savings!

Now Bumble was not nearly the only 1L to reach the decision to leave. In fact, students dropped like flies. Bumble gives all the credit in the world to attornies for sticking through law school though.

But now to the curious case of Adam, the person with the best reason ever for dropping out. Adam started the semester with Bumble. Being a smoker like Bumble, Adam and Bumble became acquainted quickly.

There are a couple things you need to know about Adam. When Bumble met him, Adam was in a wheelchair. At about age 14 Adam was in a car accident which left him about 80% paralyzed from the waist down on one side and 90% on the other. Basically the accident had left him a paraplegic since age 14.

He could drive in his handi-capable truck, and was lucky enough to be independent. He could use special poles to

Let's get it on!!!!

support himself as he maneuvered in and out of his vehicle.

Adam was the self proclaimed token cripple of the new aspiring law students. He was about a 2.0 student in college but placed really well on his LSAT’s. Not as well as Bumble of course, but his score + wheels was enough to get him into law school.

Bumble could tell right away that Adam was smart but not really motivated. He had a settlement from the accident and came to law school just to see if he could do it. So it wasn’t a huge surprise when he stopped showing up.

After about six weeks he just stopped rolling into school. Bumble gave him a call, and the conversation went something like this…

Bumble: Dude, where have you been?

Adam: Well, it’s the most amazing thing. I was taking a shower two weeks ago and suddenly I could feel it.

Bumble: Feel what?

Adam: You know, “it”! I haven’t felt it since before the accident.

Bumble: Ohhhh. Ewwww! So uh..

Adam: Yeah it’s a miracle. I haven’t even thought about anything else. Just been going at it like a zoo monkey ever since!

Bumble: Click.

You get the picture.

So there you have it, the best reason ever to quit law school. Abandoned it for a journey of self discovery. Bumble heard from Adam just one more time after that. He just wanted to let me know that after being crippled at 14, and ten years of no feeling in “IT”, he had finally gotten deflowered. Congrats to him. Adam, wherever you are, Bumble hopes you are still living the dream!